BMN : Chapter 34

Doctor Fang Shiyue arrived, and despite his illness, Fu Ming got up to greet him. They were teacher and student, as well as close friends, and Fu Ming didn’t want to be disrespectful after not seeing each other for a long time. Fang Shiyue, shocked by Fu Ming’s pale and haggard appearance, quickly pushed him back onto the bed. After a thorough examination, Fang Shiyue frowned and asked, “Where did all the lessons I taught you go? How did you end up in this state?”

This state? Jin Yi had questioned him similarly. Fu Ming replied, “It’s been a while since I looked in the mirror. Do I look that bad?”

Fang Shiyue glared at him. “You don’t know? If you don’t, why did you call me?”

Fu Ming smiled slightly. “I called you to work your magic and save this wretched appearance of mine.”

Fang Shiyue was still angry. “Work my magic? If it gets to that point, even if Hua Tuo himself returned, he couldn’t save you!”

Fu Ming shook his head. “Hua Tuo lived over a thousand years ago. Medical skills must have improved since then, right? What Hua Tuo couldn’t cure, perhaps you can!”

Fang Shiyue was amused despite himself. “You still have the energy to joke; I see you haven’t reached the point of no return yet. Now, tell me, how did you get sick, how long have you had it, and what medicines have you taken that haven’t worked?”

Fu Ming dropped his smile and seriously recounted how he first fell ill and all the events since. After listening, Fang Shiyue couldn’t help but give his arm a light slap, which hurt Fu Ming slightly, though he didn’t dare make a sound.

Fang Shiyue sighed after his anger passed. “I’ve been quite free lately, so I’ll stay here for a while. Before the New Year, you must recover so you can help Sun Zangyong write Spring Festival couplets!”

“I’ll do as you say,” Fu Ming replied with a smile and lay back down.

Fang Shiyue began writing a prescription, but after noting the first ingredient, he asked, “You’re not planning to return to the Jin household, are you?”

After a pause, Fu Ming replied, “It’s not my place of residence.”

Fang Shiyue made a noncommittal sound but said nothing more.

A few days later, Fu Ming’s condition had not improved but had stabilized. Perhaps having Dr. Fang around reassured Lu Fei and Wanlan, who no longer appeared worried and were able to smile and laugh daily. Although life on the farm was far from the comfort of the Jin household, they were content as long as they were with Fu Ming and he was well.

That day, Wanlan was returning from washing clothes when she encountered three men on the path outside the courtyard.

The man leading the group smiled and greeted her, “Sister Wanlan.”

“How do you know who I am? What business do you have here?”

“We’re from the Jin household. It’s not surprising you don’t recognize us since you were always in the inner courtyard.”

“The Jin household? What brings you here?”

“The master asked us to return some things to Master Fu.” The man pointed to a chest carried by the two men behind him.

The chest was brought into the house. After Wanlan explained the situation to Fu Ming, the man opened it, revealing some of Fu Ming’s old belongings and some money.

Fu Ming glanced at the items and spoke calmly, “Leave them here. You can go back and report.”

After the men left, Lu Fei noticed that while Fu Ming appeared composed, he seemed deeply troubled. He stood silently, gazing out at the barren winter landscape.

Though Fu Ming had been the one to sever ties with Jin Yi, when the latter also settled the account, seemingly leaving nothing owed, Fu Ming felt a coldness enveloping him, a chill that was hard to bear. But wasn’t this the expected outcome? Who could be blamed? How could he hold a grudge?

The trusted servants returned to the Jin household to report. Upon hearing that Fu Ming had simply accepted the items without much reaction, Jin Yi’s expression darkened.

As he prepared to leave for the palace, Bai Lu came to help him change. The ever-understanding maid remained silent, noticing his displeasure.

As Jin Yi was leaving the estate, he saw a servant sending off a man in his forties, who was already walking away.

Seeing Jin Yi approach, the servant explained, “That man came looking for Master Fu. From his accent, it seems he’s from Jiangnan.”

Jin Yi glanced at the man disappearing in the distance, nodded slightly, and left without a word.

That day, for reasons unknown, the Emperor suddenly decided to host a banquet for the descendants of founding ministers. During the banquet, the Emperor spoke many sentimental words about past and present, which, though touching, didn’t hold much weight in light of recent events like Jin Yi’s arrest. The guests, though feigning emotion, made solemn vows of loyalty to the royal family, pledging to serve the court until death. The Emperor, pleased, seemed rejuvenated.

After the banquet, the Emperor kept Jin Yi back for a private conversation.

“Changji, I’ve watched you grow up. I never believed you had any disloyal intentions. The recent events were unfortunate and forced upon us. Don’t blame me. I never intended to truly trouble you. Now that the matter is settled, you’re still a general of the court, a pillar I rely on.”

Jin Yi, not daring to accept such praise, apologized profusely.

The Emperor seemed to brush off the matter and then inquired about the health of Jin Yi’s grandmother, mentioned the engagement of the Jin family daughter, and asked if Jin Yi’s son had begun his studies, speaking with great concern for his subjects.

After these inquiries, the Emperor nonchalantly said, “I heard your male spouse wants a divorce?”

Jin Yi had anticipated the Emperor was aware of this matter and had tacitly allowed it, so he calmly replied, “Yes, Your Majesty.”

The Emperor laughed, his tone unreadable. “You two were wed by my decree, so you can’t divorce on a whim. When I first heard the news, I couldn’t believe it. But many people have been speaking in his favor, as if I would be unreasonable if I didn’t approve the divorce. It seems this isn’t just about Fu Ming wanting a divorce; it’s more like a group of people pushing me to let you divorce.”

Jin Yi was taken aback but remained composed. “I don’t understand, Your Majesty.”

The Emperor handed him a long letter from the table. Jin Yi took it and saw it was in Fu Ming’s handwriting. As he read through it, his heart grew heavier with each line, particularly when Fu Ming expressed his willingness to live and die with his husband. Jin Yi felt both pain and joy, his eyes stinging, and his nose tingling.

“Finished reading?” the Emperor asked. “Do you think, based on this letter, Fu Ming wants a divorce?”

“Thank you, Your Majesty, for informing me,” Jin Yi replied, then cautiously asked, “But why did Your Majesty allow the divorce paper to be delivered?”

“Divorce or not, it’s between you two. Although I arranged your marriage, I’m not the matchmaker, and the marriage certificate isn’t an unbreakable bond. Even red threads can break; why can’t a marriage certificate become a divorce paper?”

The Emperor’s words were grandiose, but Jin Yi understood that the issue between him and Fu Ming was merely the result of a power struggle among various factions.

But then the Emperor smiled and added, “If you don’t want to divorce, I’d be pleased to see you stay together. I wronged you recently; consider this a small compensation. How you proceed is up to you.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty!” This was the most heartfelt thanks Jin Yi had given since entering the palace that day.

After leaving the palace, Jin Yi returned to the Jin household, retrieved the unsigned divorce paper, and hurried to the outskirts of the city. The words from the letter flashed in his mind, fueling his desire to confront Fu Ming and demand an explanation.

By the time he arrived, it was late afternoon. Fu Ming had just finished eating and was about to take his medicine.

Seeing Jin Yi, he nearly choked on the medicine. Once he regained his composure, he was about to ask why Jin Yi was there when the latter handed him the divorce paper.

He changed his question. “Have you signed it?”

Jin Yi replied, “No. I want you to tear it up.”

Fu Ming paused. “I don’t understand.”

“Wasn’t it you who wrote to the Emperor, expressing your wish to live and die with me?”

“Did the Emperor show you that letter?” Fu Ming asked in shock.

Jin Yi smiled slightly. “Now, do you have anything left to say?” His tone was questioning but filled with deep affection.

Fu Ming wanted to say, “I have nothing to say. That’s exactly how I feel. If you live, I live; if you die, I’ll carry on your unfinished duties and live for you, but my heart will die with you.” However, after a moment’s silence, he said, “In ancient times, officials would sometimes write emotional letters to resign, mixing truth and lies. My letter was similar, half true, half false.”

“Which parts were true, and which were false?”

“It’s been so long, I can’t remember.”

“Fu Gongzi, you’ve been exceptionally intelligent since childhood. Others might believe that, but I don’t.”

Fu Ming sighed, his tone softening. “Master, would you like to hear an old story?”

Jin Yi didn’t understand why he suddenly changed the subject, but the way Fu Ming addressed him as “Master” made his anger dissipate. He nodded and replied, “Go ahead.”

“You probably know some of my family’s history. It’s said that my father was adopted by my grandfather because he had no sons and no family members to adopt, so he adopted an orphan from the charity orphanage.”

“Yes, I’ve heard that.”

“The truth is quite different.”

Jin Yi looked surprised and curious. Fu Ming continued, “My grandfather was a concubine’s son, despised by his legitimate mother. He and a maidservant hired by the legitimate mother fell in love. When she found out, she tricked the maidservant into becoming a family slave and planned to marry her off to a despised servant. In a fit of anger, my grandfather left the family with the maidservant. A year later, the maidservant was pregnant, and my grandfather was found and forcibly brought back by his family. The pregnant maidservant was taken care of by a kind person and entered the charity orphanage. This kind person had connections with the orphanage’s head and occasionally visited. The maidservant lived well in the orphanage for many years. Eventually, when my grandfather gained a stable position in the family, he found a way to bring the maidservant and his son back. That maidservant was my grandmother.” Fu Ming paused and then asked Jin Yi, “Do you know who that kind person was?”

Jin Yi replied, “No.”

Fu Ming smiled. “That kind person was the old master of the Jin family, your grandfather. The Jin family has done great kindness to my grandfather, grandmother, and father. When my nurse told me these stories, I vowed to repay this kindness if given a chance.”

Jin Yi frowned and questioned, “Are you saying everything you’ve done has been to repay a debt?”

“Exactly.”

“Then why did you abandon everything midway?”

Fu Ming smiled. “I think, even though I haven’t repaid the kindness with a grand gesture, what I’ve done these years, plus this time, should suffice. I’m a man; how could I be content to stay in the back courtyard forever? This is a rare opportunity; I don’t want to give it up. So, I hope you’ll let me leave. From now on, I’ll have a world of possibilities and live my own life.”

The stronger the hope, the deeper the disappointment. At this moment, Jin Yi finally had to believe that Fu Ming was determined to leave the Jin household and him.

In extreme pain, Jin Yi laughed. After a seemingly long yet brief silence, he said, “Bring me the pen.”

Fu Ming personally ground the ink, taking his time, perhaps because it concerned his freedom and future. He moved slowly and meticulously. After the ink was ready, he dipped the brush and handed it to Jin Yi with both hands.

Jin Yi took the brush, which felt as heavy as a thousand pounds, and wrote his name on the divorce paper that he had intended to tear up. He then pressed his thumb into the bright red ink and stamped his handprint heavily.

On a small piece of paper, like an expanse of the world, they would no longer be bound together, but rather, they would go their separate ways.

Jin Yi lashed his horse, speeding away into the deepening dusk. Fu Ming leaned against the gate, holding the divorce paper, gazing at the increasingly dark sky, and softly recited:

“The belt is indifferent to the changes in width,  

Spring smoke turns green while autumn frost turns white.  

Grinding cinnabar and breaking stone, the heavens are unaware,  

I wish for the heavenly prison to lock away this guilty soul.”

The year was swiftly passing. Their mutual love and understanding had only lasted a few short years. Fu Ming wasn’t afraid of his belt growing loose, but this deep affection had nowhere to be expressed. The vast world seemed like a cold prison, and he, though unwilling, had chosen this path willingly.

R : ……….

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