BMN : Chapter 38

Jin Yi stood at the spot for a long time, the bright sunset stinging his eyes and making him misread the words on the tombstone. He thought that once the glow faded, he would step forward and read the words clearly, believing he had made a mistake.

The sunset faded slowly, and as darkness deepened, he moved forward in the growing dusk. Kneeling before the grave, he traced the four characters over and over again, both with his eyes and his fingers, feeling the stone’s edges cut into his fingers, the hot blood flowing out replacing the tears that filled his heart but refused to spill.

Night fell, the moon had not yet risen, and the wind began to blow. The sound of the rustling trees on the mountain sounded like thousands of people crying.

Jin Yi suddenly threw his head back and let out a long, sorrowful howl, startling the birds in the forest. As the birds found their nests, Jin Yi leaned against the cold tombstone, realizing that he had lost all sense of direction, unable to return.

“Why couldn’t you wait a little longer for me? Why couldn’t you wait for me, who didn’t intentionally come late?”

“You came that night, so why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you tell me so I could keep you?”

“How long did it take you to travel from this world to the underworld? How much pain did you endure? Why didn’t you let me know?”

“Why did you have to leave? And if you left, why didn’t you make your life better? Why did you let yourself end up like this?”

“Can you still see? Can you still hear? I’ve come, do you know? I’ve come!”

Why? Why? Why? He questioned all the confusion, grief, anger, and regret in his heart, but the person who had passed away could no longer answer, unable to give him a response that could soothe even a drop of the poison in his heart.

Fate played a cruel trick, and Jin Yi, who had made a grave mistake, could only stand there, helpless, captured by his own remorse.

Before this forever-closed prison door to the mortal world, Jin Yi painfully realized that it was Fu Ming who had passed away, but he himself was the one left in an endless hell.

Jin Yi knelt in front of Fu Ming’s grave all night. As the morning sun once again bathed the pines and hills in yellow, he walked away with a disheveled appearance, leaving footprints on the dew-covered white reeds.

A few days later, he finally found Lu Fei and Wanlan.

Seeing Jin Yi in such a state, Lu Fei asked, “Master, have you visited the young master?”

Jin Yi responded, “I want to know everything, everything.”

Wanlan sneered, “We’re no longer servants of the Jin family; your orders don’t apply to us. If we don’t want to talk, you won’t hear a single word from us!”

Lu Fei pulled Wanlan back and handed a letter to Jin Yi, saying, “This is from the young master. He left it for you, saying that if you ever came looking for him, I should give this to you.”

Jin Yi snatched the letter but carefully tore open the envelope, afraid to damage a single word.

As the letter unfolded:

“Changji, if you are well, all is well.”

He had only read the first four characters before his vision blurred. He hastily wiped his eyes and continued reading:

“I left without saying goodbye; please do not blame me.”

“As the saying goes, one day of marriage creates a hundred days of grace. Between us, there must be far more than a hundred days of grace. I hope, in light of this grace, you can forgive the past and remember my good points, not holding any grudges. This way, I can leave peacefully, with my eyes closed in the underworld.”

“The parting is always too quick. You gave me the happiest years of my life, short as they were, but enough to comfort my heart. I am fortunate to have you as my husband. Yet, you deserve a better partner, and I am not a good spouse. You are a person of deep feelings and strong sense of duty. Knowing that my fate is sealed, I know you will grieve for me. I hope your sorrow will be short-lived and that you will have a good woman by your side in the years to come, sharing your joys and sorrows, and gradually forgetting this unfaithful person of the past.”

“If there is an afterlife, whether we meet or not, may we form good bonds and have a good beginning and end.”

“With deep respect, be well.

Ye Xin’s final words

Spring returns”

Each word and sentence, once trickled from Fu Ming’s heart, now were refined into blades, slashing at Jin Yi’s heart.

Jin Yi held the thin letter, almost crushing it, but he dared not damage it.

This was the last thing Fu Ming left him, still warm with his affection, barely enough to quench the thirst of the living. It took a long time for Jin Yi to struggle out of his invisible emotional wounds. With red eyes, he asked Lu Fei, “Out of pity, can you tell me about his last days?”

Lu Fei wiped her eyes and sighed long before recounting, “The young master was already ill when he left the Jin family. During the time you were in prison, he didn’t have a single day of peace. He worried and worked tirelessly, hoping to help you return home soon. When he decided to leave, neither Wanlan nor I knew in advance. There were no signs beforehand; he never told us the real reason. You know most of what happened after that. His condition worsened, and thankfully Doctor Fang was there to stabilize it. But then, his wet nurse, Madam Shen, whom he regarded as a mother, passed away, hitting him hard and worsening his illness. And then… he succumbed. Now, the young master no longer belongs to the Jin family or the Fu family, so we couldn’t bury him in either family’s cemetery. According to his wishes, we buried him at the northeastern corner of the farmstead, near a mountain pass where there is a tall tree. He said it was a place where he, his parents, and the young master once rested during a spring outing.”

“When… when did he pass away?”

Lu Fei was silent for a long time. Wanlan replied, “On the tenth day of the fourth month, at the hour of the rooster.”

“The tenth day of the fourth month, at the hour of the rooster,” Jin Yi repeated softly. “How laughable that I had no idea.”

“You know what you need to know…” Wanlan began, intending to dismiss Jin Yi, but Lu Fei interrupted her, turning to Jin Yi.

“Do you want to know why the young master left the Jin family?”

Jin Yi was shocked, looking at her. “You know?”

Lu Fei nodded. “We didn’t know at first. The young master never told anyone, even to the end. But I couldn’t believe he left out of selfishness, so after we buried him, I started asking around and finally found the likely truth.”

Lu Fei had been trained by Madam Shen and had a mind for scheming, though she had kept to her role as an honest maidservant since her master was not one to seek trouble. But after Fu Ming’s unjust departure, she couldn’t bear to stay silent. Even if it went against Fu Ming’s wishes, she needed to find the truth. Through constant probing and verification, she finally pieced together the chain of events and identified the culprit.

Now that she had uncovered the truth, she had decided that if Jin Yi came seeking answers, she would tell him everything.

Although Fu Ming had achieved his wish and owed no one, those who owed him, she would not let them off easily.

Seeing Lu Fei’s expression, Jin Yi believed she knew the truth and said, “Please, tell me everything.”

Lu Fei sneered, “The matter isn’t shrouded in mystery. As the young master said, you’re too noble to see through the schemes of others. But think about it: who benefited from the young master’s departure? What leverage did they have to make him leave willingly? What was most important to the young master? If you think about it this way, the truth becomes clear, doesn’t it?”

Following her reasoning, Jin Yi’s face turned even paler. He asked, “Do you have proof?”

“If you don’t believe me, you can return to the Jin residence and ask Bai Hua, who followed the young master around. Besides the necessary meetings, who else did he meet before you were released from prison? They met just before you were freed. Additionally, I have an old connection with a maid in Master Zhou’s household, who confirmed my suspicions. Whether you believe me or not, you can verify it yourself.”

“Very well, I will verify it.” Jin Yi thanked Lu Fei and added, “If you two ever face any difficulties, you can come to the Jin residence.”

Wanlan smiled ruefully. “Though we may be illiterate, we’ve heard enough from the young master to know the phrase ‘still cares about old servants.’ But there’s no need. We’re leaving soon, far away.”

“You’re leaving?” Jin Yi asked, somewhat surprised. “In that case, could you leave the keys to the countryside house? I will visit and take care of it, and… visit his… his place too.”

“Here.” Lu Fei didn’t wait for him to finish and handed him the keys.

“We may not return for three, five years, or even longer. I hope you won’t forget the young master too quickly, leaving him all alone,” Wanlan said, her voice turning from anger to sadness.

Jin Yi made his promise, and Lu Fei trusted him to keep it, letting him take the keys.

After Jin Yi left, Wanlan and Lu Fei began packing their belongings. They could have waited in the countryside, but without Fu Ming, staying there brought too much sorrow. Moreover, they wanted to see if Jin Yi would come to them. Now that their task was complete, they could leave without any regrets.

As they were about to leave, Wanlan hesitated and asked, “Sister, is this really okay? The young master didn’t want anyone to know about these things. Won’t he blame us?”

Lu Fei shook her head. “Even if he does, I had to tell. Besides, they say that when a general is out, they don’t follow orders from afar. The young master isn’t here to stop us, so as his servants, we have to do what we think is right.”

Wanlan laughed. “Fine, you’re making too much sense. Let’s go. I’ve never been farther than the capital.”

Lu Fei strapped on her bundle, exhaled deeply, and smiled. “Let’s go, and start a new life!”

The next day, Jin Yi personally visited the Zhou residence.

Master Zhou and Zhou Chengyan were not home, so Madam Zhou greeted him personally, with Zhou Wanqing joining her, claiming that she was practically half a member of the Jin family and saw no need to avoid gender restrictions.

Madam Zhou and Zhou Wanqing came smiling but immediately noticed Jin Yi’s grave expression, causing their smiles to fade. Madam Zhou asked, “Changji, it’s rare for you to visit. Is there nothing at the office today?” Jin Yi had no intention of small talk and got straight to the point. “Madam, Wanqing, I have a question to ask.”

Zhou Wanqing smiled again. “No need to be so formal, Changji. What do you want to know? We’re family; no need for pleasantries.”

Jin Yi said, “I want to ask why Fu Ming left the Jin residence.”

Madam Zhou’s face changed, but Zhou Wanqing maintained her composure, replying, “Changji, why are you asking us this? If he wanted to leave, how would we know? Why don’t you ask him yourself?”

Jin Yi suddenly looked at her, his eyes filled with anger. “Ask him? What would he say? And what did you say to him back then?”

Zhou Wanqing was shaken by his gaze and tone. She tried to defend herself, but seeing the growing anger in his eyes, she fell silent, not knowing what to say.

Madam Zhou intervened, “Changji, what kind of attitude is this? No matter how he left, he did so willingly. Our Zhou family has done so much for you. Our eldest daughter married you, bore your son, and managed your household, but she died young. Have we ever blamed you? Now, we’re willing to marry our most precious daughter to you as a continuation of the marriage, ready to share honor and disgrace with the Jin family. Isn’t that enough? And now, you’re being disrespectful to us over a former spouse. Is this the behavior of a gentleman?”

“Mother, I owe the Zhou family, and I will repay it myself. But what wrong did Fu Ming do? You forced him to leave, left him homeless, made him ill, and… you hid all this from me, forcing him to leave, just for this marriage? Haha, how ridiculous! How utterly ridiculous!”

“Changji, you can’t say that; you can’t say that…” Zhou Wanqing sobbed.

Madam Zhou angrily retorted, “Jin Yi, what are you saying? Are you trying to break the engagement?”

“Break the engagement?” Jin Yi laughed sadly. “In my heart, I never willingly agreed! Yes, I’m breaking it. Asking me to marry the person who caused my beloved’s death, over my dead body!”

“You—don’t forget how you were released from prison! And don’t forget the current state of the Jin family. Turning against our Zhou family, can you weigh the consequences?”

“To sell my heart for wealth and power, no one in the Jin family will do that! You saved my life but took my wife’s life. From now on, we owe you nothing. If you want to settle accounts, go ahead! But from now on, I have nothing to do with your Zhou family.”

“Sister? Yan’er? Brother-in-law, are you going to ignore them too?” Zhou Wanqing cried out.

“Since Siyu married me, she’s part of the Jin family. Zhaoyan is my son and has nothing to do with your Zhou family.” If not for the current situation, he wouldn’t have been so harsh. But while the Zhou family wasn’t directly responsible for Fu Ming’s death, they were involved. He could no longer associate with those who had pushed Fu Ming into the grave. Even if he had to bear the burden of a guilty conscience and be seen as ungrateful by the world, he had to cut ties with these people.

“Changji…” Zhou Wanqing laughed through her tears. “You’re so cruel!”

Madam Zhou, half embracing her daughter, glared at Jin Yi, her eyes burning. “Jin Yi, remember your words today. I hope you won’t regret it in the future. Our Zhou family isn’t one you can associate with at will!”

“Remember my words today; from now on, I am no longer your Zhou family son-in-law, nor will I ever be.”

With that, Jin Yi turned and left quickly. Watching his resolute back, Zhou Wanqing began to sob again.

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