BMN : Chapter 44

Fang Fan’s father had left Liangzhou on a mission and couldn’t return before the year’s end. During the New Year festivities, Xianquan Town was livelier than usual. Even merchants and others not of Han ethnicity were influenced by local customs, wearing joyous expressions and indulging in revelry. The streets were bustling with the festive atmosphere.

In previous years, Fang Fan didn’t feel particularly alone with his father’s company. This year, however, being a stranger in a foreign land, he couldn’t help but feel a bit desolate during the holidays. According to local customs, to ensure good fortune, no one visits the doctor during the New Year. Fang Fan had also sent his apprentice and cook back home to celebrate with their families, leaving him alone in the house. With the cold weather and the house feeling empty, Fang Fan decided to sleep in. It wasn’t until the sound of firecrackers had gone off several times outside that he finally got up.

As he was putting up the couplets he had written the night before, someone approached his door.

It was Jin Yi. He had visited several times over the past few days, which was unusual for a general of his rank.

Jin Yi smiled at him and admired the freshly posted couplets:

*The winding waters embrace a peaceful aura,  

The distant mountains are like gentle people.*

“Doctor Fang, these couplets are quite unique. They suit you well,” Jin Yi remarked. Although the handwriting wasn’t familiar, Jin Yi found himself increasingly fond of them. “It’s a pity we can’t put up couplets in the military camp; otherwise, I’d shamelessly ask you for a few sets.”

“General Jin flatters me,” Fang Fan responded with a smile. “May I ask if the general is just passing by or here for a specific reason?”

“With your father away, I figured you’d be spending the holiday alone, which must be quite lonely. I came to invite you to the camp to celebrate with the soldiers. Would you be interested?” Jin Yi offered.

Fang Fan considered the invitation briefly and replied, “Thank you for the kind offer, General.”

Fang Fan’s straightforwardness sometimes puzzled Jin Yi. The more they interacted, the more Jin Yi was convinced that Fang Fan was indeed Fu Ming. However, the misunderstandings of the past, the years that had passed, and even the “death” that separated them created a gap. Though Jin Yi felt a deep, burning affection, he was also apprehensive and uncertain. Fang Fan’s indifferent attitude, seemingly unbothered by past grievances, left Jin Yi at a loss, forcing him to start anew.

After changing clothes, Fang Fan locked the door and joined Jin Yi on the way to the camp.

His father had taken the family’s horse, leaving only a camel. Thus, Fang Fan rode his camel alongside Jin Yi’s horse back to the camp. The camel moved much slower than the horse, so Jin Yi adjusted his pace to match Fang Fan’s. They exchanged a few words occasionally, taking quite some time to reach the camp.

Today, the military camp was also bustling with activity. A large pot of mutton soup was boiling, flatbreads were stacked on racks, and dried fruits were piled up. Soldiers gathered around the pot, singing loudly and holding cups, even filled with wine.

Fang Fan asked Jin Yi, “Is it okay for security to be so relaxed?”

“We’ve arranged for plenty of guards and patrols. Even if the Xi Xia troops attack now, we can hold them off,” Jin Yi replied. “Besides, today is a special day. Each soldier only got a small amount of wine, not enough to get drunk.”

Fang Fan nodded with a smile. “I see, I was overthinking. The general’s consideration for the soldiers is commendable.”

Jiang Yisun, noticing Jin Yi had brought a guest, rose from the circle and approached, greeting Fang Fan, “Ming—Doctor Fang, you’re here! Come, sit over here!”

Jiang Yisun occasionally slipped up and called Fang Fan by his former name, but Jin Yi never did.

Fang Fan, smiling and unfazed, greeted everyone and took the seat left open between Jin Yi and Jiang Yisun.

They ate, drank, and chatted, with soldiers occasionally coming over to toast. The lively atmosphere lasted from dusk until night.

Jin Yi, aside from handling the soldiers’ enthusiastic toasts, focused most of his attention on Fang Fan. He noticed that Fang Fan’s demeanor among the soldiers was something he hadn’t seen in Fu Ming—less refined but more cheerful and free-spirited, like a bright moon breaking through the mountains to shine upon the open plains. The moon was still the same, but its light seemed more radiant than before.

As time passed, the soup in the pot ran low. Though the energy waned, the soldiers were reluctant to disperse.

Someone handed Fang Fan an ocarina. He was slightly tipsy, his cheeks flushed, but his breath was steady. Normally, his first piece would be “Autumn Wind Song,” but tonight, sitting next to Jin Yi and feeling the warmth of the fire, he decided against it. Instead, he played “Su Wu Herding Sheep,” a tune fitting for the frontier’s ambiance.

As Fang Fan began to play, the surroundings quieted. The wind danced with the fire, and the ancient melody spread, making the vast land and endless time seem even more expansive. Jin Yi watched Fang Fan, his half-closed eyes, his serene expression, and the timeless sound resonating in his ears. In that moment, all past grievances seemed filtered away, leaving his feelings clear and pure. His eyes welled up, not from sadness, not tied to joy or sorrow, but as a response to the boundless grace bestowed upon him.

After the gathering, Jin Yi led Fang Fan to stay in a tent next to his own, offering a place for the night. Perhaps due to the lingering effects of the alcohol, Fang Fan felt less reserved and joked, “Aren’t you worried that I’m a spy, keeping me so close?”

Jin Yi smiled and countered, “Are you?”

Fang Fan replied, “That’s hard to say. If I were a spy, I wouldn’t admit it. If I’m not, I still wouldn’t say so. My words can’t prove anything.”

Jin Yi responded, “Then let me vouch for you. You’re not. Rest easy.” He left the tent, securing the entrance.

The tent was sparsely furnished, clearly temporary, but the bedding was thick and clean. Fang Fan, truly exhausted, removed his outer garments and crawled into bed, quickly falling asleep.

During the night, the wind picked up. Jin Yi stepped out to check if Fang Fan’s tent was secure, but Fang Fan slept soundly, unaware.

The next morning, Fang Fan prepared to leave. Just then, a package arrived from the capital, containing a few pieces of winter clothing. The stitches were fine, and like the bedding Fang Fan had used the night before, they were thick and clean.

Fang Fan casually asked, “Were these made by the general’s wife? She’s very thoughtful.” His tone was admiring, even envious.

Jin Yi shook his head. “These were sent by my cousin.”

Fang Fan corrected himself, “Your cousin is quite skillful and considerate.”

Jin Yi acknowledged, “She is. Before she got married, she was very close to my wife.”

Fang Fan paused briefly, then smiled. “So your cousin is married. It’s a blessing to have a sister-in-law and wife who get along well.”

Instead of responding, Jin Yi asked, “What about you, Doctor Fang? Why haven’t you married?”

“Me?” Fang Fan replied slowly, “Perhaps influenced by my father, I’ve studied the scriptures and embraced Buddhism, so I’ve become indifferent to matters of romance.”

“You’re still young, Doctor Fang, and to think this way already,” Jin Yi remarked with a soft laugh. “But Buddhist teachings aren’t separate from the world. Seeking enlightenment outside the world is like looking for a rabbit’s horn. You’re a wise man, surely you’re not searching for something that doesn’t exist?”

Fang Fan commented, “I didn’t expect General Jin to be familiar with Buddhist teachings.”

“I wouldn’t say familiar, but I read Buddhist scriptures occasionally to ease my troubles,” Jin Yi admitted.

“What troubles the general? Is it because of the battles?” Fang Fan inquired.

“Not because of that.” Jin Yi shook his head and, after a moment’s hesitation, continued, “My wife left me many years ago. I feel guilty and… I miss her a lot.”

Fang Fan was silent for a moment, then carefully spoke, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I thought the general had a happy family.”

Jin Yi smiled and reassured him, “You don’t need to apologize.”

After another pause, Fang Fan cautiously asked, “Since fate has separated you from your wife, have you not considered finding another companion?”

Jin Yi looked at Fang Fan intently, so much so that Fang Fan had to turn away, uncomfortable. Jin Yi then solemnly said, “He was the one I chose. If he leaves me for a lifetime, I’ll miss him for a lifetime. If he ever wishes to return, I will wholeheartedly be with him and never let him leave again.”

Fang Fan shivered slightly, trying to smile but restraining it. “The general is indeed a man of deep feelings.” Before Jin Yi could say more, Fang Fan quickly took his leave, “I’ve stayed too long. This is a military camp, and it’s not appropriate for an outsider to linger. Thank you for your hospitality.” With that, he hurried away.

Jin Yi watched Fang Fan’s rapidly retreating figure, his carefully controlled expression finally showing through. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but his words were lost in the wind.

**Author’s Note:**

*The winding waters embrace a peaceful aura,  The distant mountains are like gentle people.*  —Lu You, “Ascending the Ni Xiantai”

*Buddhist teachings are found in the world,  Awakening without leaving the world.  Seeking enlightenment apart from the world,  Is like searching for a rabbit’s horn.*  —”The Platform Sutra of the Sixth Patriarch”

R : TSK

R : 44 chapters later, I still hate them all, they don’t deserve Fu Ming ! 

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