BMN : Chapter 45

After the Spring Festival, the Xixia army began to stir again, and Jin Yi became increasingly occupied with military affairs, thus no longer visiting Xianquan Town frequently. After the Lantern Festival, Doctor Fang returned, and people seeking medical consultations started coming in continuously. Fang Fan resumed his usual, ordinary yet fulfilling life.

However, every few days, he would receive various items delivered by a soldier. Although the sender’s identity was never disclosed, it was evident who it was. Fang Fan had no choice but to accept these gifts.

Fortunately, the boxes often contained nothing valuable—just some small carved poplar wood items, dried beef or mutton, a strangely shaped stone, or even a small green plant still with its roots.

Fang Fan placed the carved poplar wood and the stone in his room and planted the green plant in the yard.

Doctor Fang saw this and said nothing, merely patting Fang Fan on the shoulder, letting him do as he pleased. Fang Fan had infinite respect and gratitude for this “father,” but there was no need for them to express it deliberately.

True spring always came late to Liangzhou and the borderlands, but the renewed grand offensive by the Xixia army came swiftly and violently. This time, they had secretly allied with several Western Regions’ armies, launching a massive surprise attack. The enemy forces doubled in number, and Jin Yi dispatched messengers to report to the court, requesting the preparation for reinforcements if necessary. For now, the troops under his command could still battle the enemy.

The enemy had changed their commander to Li Xu, an experienced old general, who was cunning and crafty. Facing each other on the battlefield, Jin Yi endured much verbal abuse and taunts from Li Xu, but he remained composed and strategic, leading his troops with precision.

The Xixia coalition launched multiple offensives but gained no advantage at Longshuo Pass. After a brief lull, they attacked again like a tidal wave.

This time, Jin Yi personally led his troops to confront the enemy. The opposition was eager to capture the pass, and Jin Yi did not want to prolong the stalemate. He decided to take the initiative and teach the enemy a lesson, forcing them to retreat. Thus, Jiang Yisun stayed to defend the pass while Jin Yi led his troops out to meet the enemy head-on.

The two armies clashed fiercely, with the sunlight glinting off armor and blades, creating a dazzling display like the earth reflecting light. The sound of drums and battle cries filled the air, startling flocks of returning geese, making them detour and leave this human hell to the combatants. Amidst the fierce fighting, blood and flesh flew, nourishing the barren land—perhaps this year, more grass would grow here.

Jin Yi did not anticipate that the enemy’s target this time was not Longshuo Pass but himself. Li Xu intended to capture the king first by eliminating him. Gradually, dozens of highly skilled enemy warriors surrounded him and his bodyguards.

In this life-and-death battle, any distraction could be fatal. Jin Yi’s eyes only saw the enemy’s blades and swords, and his ears only heard the sounds of their movements. Li Xu had anticipated Jin Yi’s leadership on the front lines but underestimated his troops’ loyalty. Despite the perilous situation, his soldiers, risking their lives, managed to rescue him. Jin Yi, gravely wounded, led his troops back inside the pass before collapsing from his injuries.

Jiang Yisun received him and, seeing the determination in his eyes before he fainted, nodded heavily. Though reluctant, Jin Yi finally closed his eyes and lost consciousness.

As the army doctors treated Jin Yi, Jiang Yisun personally went to Xianquan Town.

When Fang Fan saw him approaching, he rose to greet him but was interrupted by Jiang Yisun’s urgent words: “The general is gravely injured. Before he passed out, he asked me to find you. I think he wants to see you.”

At that time, Jin Yi did not know the extent of his injuries. Riding on his horse, he focused only on breaking through and returning to camp. Inside the pass, fear struck him—if the enemy’s plan had succeeded or if he did not survive—then without personally telling Fu Ming, not Fang Fan, but Fu Ming, his heartfelt words, he would die with regret.

Seeing Jiang Yisun’s serious expression, Fang Fan felt a tightness in his chest. He hurriedly packed his medicine chest and, together with Jiang Yisun, rushed to the military camp.

Jin Yi’s wounds had been treated, bandaged, and medicated, but he remained unconscious, his face pale from blood loss, with the tent still filled with the lingering smell of blood.

Fang Fan inquired about his condition. The main injuries were in his abdomen and thigh—one almost reaching internal organs, the other deep enough to expose bone. However, it was a stroke of luck that he survived. Still, the severity of the wounds made the future uncertain.

Fang Fan asked the army doctors to tend to other injured soldiers, and he stayed in the command tent to care for Jin Yi. The army doctors, seeing Jiang Yisun’s nod, complied.

“Those Xixia bastards, they will pay for this with their blood!” Jiang Yisun, usually not a violent man, was now filled with righteous anger. However, he maintained his composure, refraining from impulsive actions and avoiding rashly sending troops out of revenge.

The Xixia army had hoped to capture Longshuo Pass while Jin Yi was severely injured, but they clashed with soldiers led by Jiang Yisun, who were determined to avenge their general. Although the enemy managed to breach Little Longshuo, they were ultimately repelled at Longshuo Pass.

After two failed offensives, both sides suffered significant casualties and entered a temporary ceasefire.

That night, Jin Yi remained unconscious, his body, initially cold from blood loss, now burning with fever. Fang Fan diligently cooled him down, reapplied his own medicines to the wounds, and personally administered porridge and medicinal broth. The contrast between hearing about and witnessing the injuries was stark. Seeing the numerous scars on Jin Yi’s body, both healed and fresh, Fang Fan felt a pang of pain in his heart and chest. But as a healer, he quickly steadied his hands, focusing on treating the wounds. After a night of effort, Jin Yi’s fever subsided slightly, and he seemed to sleep more peacefully. Exhausted, Fang Fan, unable to leave, rested by Jin Yi’s side, nodding off and waking several times until Jin Yi’s temperature stabilized, finally allowing himself a brief sleep.

Jin Yi awoke before Fang Fan, roused by the pain. Opening his eyes, still disoriented, he saw Fang Fan sleeping by his side. Jin Yi lay still, enduring the pain, gazing softly at the face he had longed for so many years.

Fang Fan, not deeply asleep, soon woke to find Jin Yi watching him. Hastily, he checked Jin Yi’s forehead and asked, “How do you feel? It must be excruciating, right? Besides the wound pain, do you feel any other discomfort? Any dizziness or nausea?”

After listening to Fang Fan’s questions, Jin Yi weakly replied, “I’m okay. Go call someone else to take over and get some rest yourself.” Fang Fan’s evident exhaustion confirmed to Jin Yi that he had been watching over him for a long time. Though Jin Yi cherished this, he could not bear to see him so worn out.

Fang Fan shook his head. “I’m fine. The general’s injuries are severe and need close monitoring.” He considered asking his father to come if the situation worsened.

Knowing Fang Fan’s determination, Jin Yi did not insist. Instead, he pointed to his coat hanging on the wall. “Take my coat and lay it on the carpet, then cover yourself with my cloak and get some sleep.”

Fang Fan did not comply, instead going to the door and giving some instructions. Soon, someone brought in porridge and medicine. Fang Fan tested them, then personally fed Jin Yi, who was unable to sit up due to his abdominal wounds. “You must drink some, even if you have no appetite,” Fang Fan urged.

Surprised, Jin Yi took the offered spoon. The warm, soft porridge seemed to melt in his heart. This sensation, long forgotten, felt like a precious gift, filling him with immense joy and gratitude, almost making him forget his pain.

Fang Fan fed him slowly, and Jin Yi cooperated fully, finishing the porridge and the medicine. Jin Yi took the offered handkerchief to wipe his mouth, but as it became soiled, he did not return it.

At that moment, Jin Yi felt that perhaps he was indeed fortunate despite his injuries. But the fear from before still lingered. Before falling asleep again, he mustered his strength to speak to Fang Fan, now without hesitation:

“I think I understand why you changed your name and didn’t acknowledge me. If you want to be Fang Fan, then be Fang Fan. But yesterday, I survived, and I must tell you this. You know who I mean, right? I need to say to you, Yexin, I am deeply sorry. I don’t expect your forgiveness. I think you may resent me but never hate me. Yet, I have truly hated myself. Seeing you again eased that self-hatred. Knowing you’re alive is a kind of salvation for me. If being Fang Fan makes you happier, then it’s wonderful. Just seeing you and saying this to you, I—could die without regret.” Jin Yi, half-conscious, spoke incoherently, and before Fang Fan could respond, he drifted back to sleep. Though Jin Yi’s words were sincere, one was untrue—he could not die without regret. Only if Fu Ming forgave him and they could rekindle their relationship would he truly be without regret. However, if he could have Fu Ming back in his life, he would never wish to die. Now that this person was present in the world, he would not want to leave.

Fang Fan did not interrupt Jin Yi’s words. He quietly listened, and after Jin Yi finished and fell asleep, Fang Fan mulled over his words for a long time, finally sighing softly, saying, “Die without regret? Who can truly die without regret? You must recover quickly. Only by living can you know how good life can be and what else it holds. So, please get better soon!”

Afterward, Jin Yi continued to experience bouts of fever, but his condition did not worsen. Fang Fan did not see the need to bring his father to the camp. Jin Yi, resilient as ever, began to recover gradually under Fang Fan’s meticulous care.

As Jin Yi’s condition stabilized and his wounds began to heal, Fang Fan decided it was time to leave. Jin Yi personally escorted him to the camp’s entrance.

Soldiers, seeing their general’s recovery, expressed their gratitude to Fang Fan. Along the way, many stopped to thank him. Concerned for Jin Yi’s weakened state and exposure to the cold, Fang Fan urged the soldiers to return, but Jin Yi insisted on accompanying him.

Finally, at the camp entrance, Fang Fan mounted his horse. “We’ve reached the camp’s boundary,” he said. “General Jin, your body is still weak. Please return and rest.”

Jin Yi, having arranged for an escort to accompany Fang Fan, said, “These past few days, you’ve been a great help. Once I’ve recovered, I will personally visit to thank you.”

Fang Fan replied with a modest smile, “General Jin, you exaggerate. It is my duty as a doctor to heal the wounded.”

Jin Yi smiled and pointed to the road ahead, where green grass was beginning to sprout. “I’ve been in the camp for many days and hadn’t noticed that the grass had grown this much,” he remarked, seemingly pleasantly surprised.

Liangzhou, with its arid and barren landscapes, rarely saw lush greenery. The presence of water here allowed some wild grass and flowers to grow. Though it wasn’t an extraordinary occurrence, it brought joy to Fang Fan, who replied with a smile, “It’s a good omen. I wish you a speedy recovery and victory over the enemy!” With that, he spurred his horse and departed.

Returning to the Fang Medical Clinic in Xianquan Town, Fang Fan first checked on the small plant he had planted in the yard. It was growing well, on par with the grass outside the military camp, which made him smile. Doctor Fang, observing this, commented, “It seems there was no serious danger.”

Thereafter, Fang Fan resumed his usual routine in Xianquan Town while Jin Yi continued his recovery in the military camp.

Jin Yi’s heartfelt words that day were spoken and left unanswered. Fang Fan seemed to have no intention of responding, and Jin Yi found that he no longer needed a response.

When Jiang Yisun inquired, Jin Yi answered truthfully. Though Jiang Yisun remained puzzled, Jin Yi merely smiled, thinking, perhaps this is the unique understanding between us.

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R : TSK TSK

R : Am I still angry ? YES

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